Brekkie

Guest post:

Brekkie (breakfast).

The other day, I heard someone refer to having "brekkie". It took me a moment to realize they were talking about breakfast in one of the most douchey ways imaginable.

What is the purpose of saying brekkie? Brekkie and breakfast have the same number of syllables. It saves you no time. It confuses people who aren't fluent in douche. It sounds like something a four year old would say to invite her stuffed elephant to an imaginary tea party ("Ellie, would you like to join me for tea and brekkie?"). Cute for a kid, douchey for anyone else.

I'd like to see this word incorporated into one of those You Might Be a Redneck routines. Remember the one that defines "Jeet" as redneck for "Did you eat?" Can't you just picture a big burly dude in a red plaid hunter's jacket laying a dead deer in the bed of his pick-up truck and saying, "This here buck gonna make me some good brekkie. Hey, Jim-Bob, jeet?"